I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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