he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
