Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
