he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
