Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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