I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
