I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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