You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.