Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.