More tranny stories later!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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