Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"

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  (402): apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy" http://tfl.nu/lm9p
  Replies (20) Good night (5319) Bad night (763)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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  (816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn
  Replies (50) Good night (996) Bad night (4349)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

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  (602): You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary. http://tfl.nu/hnqx
  Replies (24) Good night (5429) Bad night (1070)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1714) Bad night (4133)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.

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  (303): It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tf1g
  Replies (14) Good night (1040) Bad night (3820)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo

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  (703): The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo http://tfl.nu/6q1j
  Replies (6) Good night (1274) Bad night (2381)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

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  (717): It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears http://tfl.nu/xih7
  Replies (19) Good night (5016) Bad night (707)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.

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  (812): I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand. http://tfl.nu/31me
  Replies (6) Good night (1620) Bad night (588)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow

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  (602): He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/0y69
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (539)
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  (760): View more from California

  I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.

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  (760): I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death. http://tfl.nu/3p5q
  Replies (12) Good night (1290) Bad night (502)
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  (213): View more from California

  His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.

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  (213): His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry. http://tfl.nu/esf2
  Replies (2) Good night (1189) Bad night (475)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

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  (618): If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life http://tfl.nu/dpod
  Replies (6) Good night (536) Bad night (719)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.

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  (214): I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this. http://tfl.nu/v16y
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

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  (925): I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER . http://tfl.nu/8mid
  Replies (8) Good night (494) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to Philly.

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  (609): I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever. (215): Welcome to Philly. http://tfl.nu/1k71
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (281)

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