Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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