I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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