I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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