Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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