My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
