I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
