let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
