Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
