My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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