She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
