He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
