Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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