sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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