she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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