I have demons in me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
