May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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