O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
