I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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