Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
