I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
