somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
