I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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