he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
