I'm pants shitting drunk right now
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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