I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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