hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
