Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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