It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
