hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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