Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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