There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
