I'm drive I can fine osifer
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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