next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Randomize
