We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize