They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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