It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
