What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
