i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
