i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
