Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
