Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I will be naked everywhere
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize