love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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