I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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