What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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