I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
