New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
