He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize