1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
