I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
