i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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