dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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