i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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