I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
