its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
