Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
