Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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