We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
