So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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